First: A bit of business…
The winner of the Organizing Utility Tote from Thirty-One Gifts is:
Pick Giveaway Winner
1) Runnermom-jen: jento-———–
Congratulations, Jen! I’ve emailed you to obtain shipping address information. I hope you enjoy your tote as much as I have.
WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Even if you didn’t win…make sure that you’ve requested to join Thirty-One Representative Tori’s Facebook Group. She’s conducting ANOTHER giveaway for group members only. Also – Click here to get in on some great deals ($5 bag, anyone?) just in time for the holidays.
And now…Back to our regularly scheduled post:
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I was going through my Thanksgiving checklist – I’ve hosted my in-laws for the past decade – and jotting down the items that I’d need to purchase. I take pride in the fact that, though I’m no Martha Stewart, I am able to prepare and serve an almost entirely home-cooked meal, from the stuffing to the pumpkin pie.
Almost.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
My grocery list is always rather long:
25 pound turkey
roasting pan
unsalted butter
onions
celery
corn meal
and so on.
I paused when I got to large jar of gravy. My pencil hovered over the paper and a smirk spread across my face as I recalled the first time I had played hostess, some ten years ago.
***
The distinctive aromas of parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, Simon and Garfunkel and turkey wafted through the kitchen and were evidently intoxicating The Twins. At 18 months, they were spinning around the kitchen like whirling dervishes, ricocheting off of each other and my legs and cabinets and generally making themselves underfoot.
I, for my part, was hunched over my weathered edition of The Joy of Cooking, muttering curses beneath my breath. The turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole were all prepared, covered in foil, and resting upon trivets. I had moved on to preparations for the gravy. There was a pot on the stove waiting to be filled with the turkey giblets.
Which, incidentally, were nowhere to be found.
Had I thrown them away?
A quick peek in the trash told me that I had not.
Down the disposal?
I yanked up my shirt sleeve and gingerly inserted my arm up to my elbow.
Nothing.
I eyed Macy the Two-Year-Old Spastic Weimaraner suspiciously. She had a well-known affinity for all things slimy, from pre-chewed bubble gum to goose droppings. But she was gnawing with gusto on a slobbery chunk of rawhide.
I began to break out in a sweat. How was I to prepare gravy without giblets?
And serve Thanksgiving dinner without gravy?
In a panic, I flew to the pantry, a wordless prayer forming in my mind. It was all I could do not to scream hallelujah when, after a bit of rooting around, I located a jar of pre-made gravy.
In an attempt to save homemade face, I dumped the contents of the jar into the saucepan upon the stove, wiped the sweat off my brow, and stirred the concoction while calling to my father-in-law, “Granddad? Would you mind carving the turkey? I’m just about done with this homemade gravy.”
Granddad obliged, commenting dutifully on the effort that I had put into the meal, right down to the homemade gravy.
That’s what fathers-in-law are for.
And you know what else they’re for?
For not uttering a word of disgust
Or judgement
When they carve into your Thanksgiving turkey
And fish out a melting plastic bag of 375 degree giblets.
Inspired by a prompt from
*snort*
Whoops.
Yeah. Nothing like a little plastic to go with your feast.
What kind of shenanigans will 2012 hold?
……Thankfully no “gray” potatoes.
Ha! Yes. Thankfully. Darn Pinterest.
I had a feeling . . . That was the first thing my mom told me about preparing any bird!
. Have you since learned to make your own?
Betsy – I have, but my groom says that he prefers it from the jar. So who am I to deny him his Thanksgiving wish?
been there….done that…..
Mix the gravy in the Turkey drippings, they won’t know a thing!
And, I agree with Mindy. Thank goodness you experimented first!
Ex-actly. On both counts.
Hahahahahaha! That’s hilarious! Happy Thanksgiving – enjoy the week next week!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, too!
That’s pretty funny! What a good father-in-law! I still haven’t had to host a holiday meal, if I did I would have to cater. We’d be screwed if I was going to cook!
And I LOVE Jen! Congrats to her!
Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Kate. With a jar of non-homemade gravy in the pantry, there’s NOTHING you can’t do.
That happened to Lib one year as well. She was the vegetarian trying to make thanksgiving dinner. The turkey basically gave birth on the table to the bag of giblets!
Oooh…that story trumps mine in the drama department. Love it!
I was really wondering when they would show up. I bet you never hear the end of that one
Hillary, the fam has been extraordinarily gracious in that they haven’t mentioned it since…but it comes to MY mind every. Single. Year.
I knew where when I read the title where the inwards would turn up! I think everyone has missed that clever little bag inards and baked it at least once in their life! I know I did.
I am so glad to hear that. So, so glad.
First off, HOORAY!!! I’m so excited I won! Thank you again
Second, that really sounds like something I’d do. We host Thanksgiving too, and have for the past 7 years…boy have I learned a LOT since then.
Hope your Thanksgiving day is fantastic! And, don’t forget the giblets
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person. The giveaway, I mean.
As for the giblet incident? Not so much. Thanks for the reminder.
Congrats, Jen!!!
This is hilarious! Could totally see myself doing that…which is why I’ve never even attempted a turkey.
Hey…if you’ve got a family member who wants to do it? Take full advantage and just bring over some Chex mix.
I vote 100% for the jar also. Who the hell eats a gibblet? Nasty. I add a few herbs & spices and a splash of brandy. Makes any decent jar-o-gravy taste good. Enjoy your Turkey day.
I just love the way that you work wine and spirits into the everyday. xo
Love your blog, Sue!!! Thank you so much for hosting such a helpful and funny place that we can take a few minutes out of our day to chuckle and not feel alone!
If you LOVE Thirty-One stuff, don’t forget to join my private facebook group, Tori’s 31 Specials (https://www.facebook.com/groups/233908239996830/) to stay up to date on new fundraisers, sales, and products that are announced… and of course to get entered into the giveaway we’re doing next week!!!!
And next week, I’ll also be announcing a way that you can get a FREE Christmas gift, along with some other great deals!!!! You don’t want to miss the deals that are coming soon!
Thanks, Spin Cycle Readers!!!
Tori B
630-849-9301
Thank YOU for supplying the giveaway, Tori!
that is hilarious!!!! and what a sweet gentleman your father-in-law is. kelley—the road goes ever ever on
Yes…he was a trooper for sure, Kelley.
That is hysterical. What a guy! My father-in-law would probably do the same thing. Visiting from Mama Kat’s. Thanks for a great story!
It was one for the books, all right. Thanks for stopping by!
Ha! I think we’ve all done that at least once!
Shell – I’m so glad I shared this story. I truly thought I was the only fool who had done this.
Yeah I would not even know to take them out unless there was a huge flashing sign on the turkey. I’ll stick to making sides for now. Hilarious!
There is something to be said for providing an awesome gelatin concoction and leaving well enough alone.
I heard a story like this years ago: it was a newly divorced man I worked with. He had his kids over for the first Singles Dad Thanksgiving and he wanted to show that daddy was doin’ jess fine: and he was. Up until they smelled something toxic and peeking into the oven they see that DAD NEVER REMOVED THE PLASTIC OFF THE BIRD.
That’s outstanding. Makes me feel like a bit less of a kitchen baffoon. Happy Thanksgiving, A. xo
Awesome. The first Thanksgiving meal at my home was for hubs family. His mom was helping me with the gravy and she put the giblets on the stove and forgot about them. Do you know how bad burning giblets smell??? Er ma Gerd. Terrible. We had to put the pan outside and then throw it away!!!
All good cooks have messed up gravy at least once.
And to that, Thea? I raise my jar of store-bought gravy. *clink*
ha ha ha that is awesome!!! i have never, ever made gravy!
SO not worth it…
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