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It was Sunday. We always attend church as a family on Sundays.
But on this Sunday? It was not to be.
I was a bit too lazy comfy in my pjs. A tad comatose weary from the previous evening out with good friends. Longing to crawl back into bed enjoy an easy morning with my family in the comfort of our own home.
The Cherubs snuggled with me on the family room couch. I watched them as they watched the minutes on the wall clock tick by, thinking that I was unaware of the time and that they were pulling one over on me. And when the Moment of no Return – the time at which we would physically be unable to make it to the 11:00 service on time – arrived, they let out a collective whoop and began to tear about the house.
And the easy morning with my family came to a screeching halt.
My groom was in the pantry, mumbling with disdain. He backed his way out, tripping over a super-sized jar of canned tomatoes as he did so. He stifled curses under his breath.
It was Sunday, after all.
Aloud, he announced, “That’s it. It’s time to clean out the pantry…”
I winced. His words stung like a hornet’s tail end on my sensitive skin. Nonetheless, I rose and shuffled over to where he was standing to have a look inside.
“…As a family.” He finished.
At that juncture, I believe that I lost consciousness for an indeterminate period of time. I cannot completely account for all that transpired during my metaphorical absence. But the din of chaos brought me back to reality. Face down on the floor in front of the pantry, I raised my throbbing head…
And I saw this.
I blinked.
What the?
Still facing this gaping chasm, I clutched the door frame, staggered to my feet, and inhaled several times. My childbirth breathing techniques proved more helpful in bizarre scenarios like these than they ever did when in labor with The Cherubs.
Even with The Twins.
I slowly turned around and surveyed the rest of my kitchen.
And I screamed.
Five times.
The next several hours were more or less a blur. The five of us filled garbage bags, sorted, sanitized, and occasionally dry-heaved over what we discovered had been lurking in the corners of the pantry. And when it was all said and done…
…my groom suggested that we tackle the hall closet.
At which point Twin A made a hasty retreat into the basement. After noisy footfalls on the stairs, she began to practice her piano pieces with a level of enthusiasm that was usually reserved for Recital Week.
The Boys followed her, bickering over who would have the next turn at the piano.
And I?
I slithered down after them, sheepishly murmuring that my Mozart could stand a bit of brushing up as well.
Inspired by a prompt from
Wow! It looks fabulous! Seeing your tidy pantry has inspired me to finally get around to cleaning out my own. Soon. Hopefully.
I’m considering renting my groom out for this very purpose. In-box me, Kim.
2005?????
Hoarder-ish.
So funny, my friend.
But looky at your super organized pantry!!
I know, right? That was a container of pre-made apple crumble topping that I bought whilst out on an orchard excursion with with The Cherubs when they were…um…4, 4, and 1. Yikes.
I had a similar experience with my fridge. Lost of expired things, but 2005? You were a bit overdue. Now you have plenty of room–time to go shopping, right?
Seriously, Kerri. I’m almost terrified at how naked my pantry is.
Just found your blog and I have giggled all the way through this post!!! LOVE it!!! The pantry can be such a daunting project even over here
I will be back ~mamajil
Nice to “meet” you! I’ll pop over soon…
Scary organization challenge? That looks GREAT and I’m super impressed that you actually had HELP. Enjoy the week that it stays looking that perfect.
Sadly, you’re about right with that timeline of cleanliness. Le big sigh.
I am impressed! I need to do the same thing… the last time I deep-cleaned the pantry, I found a cake mix that expired before my middle daughter was born (um, 2002). Your pantry looks amazing though, great job! And you had HELP?! I would probably faint from excitement if that happened during an organization project!
It was truly surreal, Heather. Had I not photographic evidence, and a tres chic pantry today, I would doubt that it actually happened.
The first time I cleaned out my previously living-alone, bachelor husband’s refrigerator, it looked much like this, and when he returned to it’s new clean and sanitary state, he was offended I threw the expired things out. *sigh* Now he gets to help anytime we clean things out so he can see that the things I throw away aren’t just for fun, they are for his safety!
Love that he ‘gets’ to help nowadays. And seriously. 2005? What was I thinking?
I really, really envy your clean, organized pantry! Why is it always the husbands who start these little “projects”, mine doesn’t even limit himself to the pantry, he’s also a fridge nazi!
Yeah. That’s the one kicker. They tackle these little tasks and then invite everyone else to join in the fun.
Our pantry gets out of control like that too. Except I’m usually the one who freaks out and insists we clean it right this second.
Visiting from Mama Kat’s
Me? I’ve got mad avoidance and denial skillz. Obviously.
Oh my word! I am in a state of shocked amazement.
Can you send your groom over to do my pantry next?
For a small fee, Jen. Which I will pocket, o’ course. xo
this almost but not really inspires me to do mine! Great post.
“Almost but not really.”
Heh.
I know exactly what you mean, Deana. And I will take it as a compliment.
Dude. This is why I’m glad I have a fairly small pantry.
I find that no matter how large or small the area, I will find a way to clutter that thing up.
Call it a gift.
Sue~ When we bought our current house I was so excited to find a HUGE pantry!!! The sucker is 7′x7′!! Now after 9 yrs in the house I cringe everytime I walk past it. I’m pretty sure there is a missing neighbor or 2 in there!! I need to clean it out but it is soooo overwhelming so I open the pantry door ,grab the chocolate and put it off for another day….or year!!
I say it again, Kristen: No matter how big or small the space, a truly gifted individual will find a way to clutter that thang right. The heck. Up.
My kitchen makes me black out, too. I hope when mine is all said and done it looks as amazing as yours does!
Visiting from Mama Kat’s.
The goom. And Cherubs. Those are obviously the key ingredients to a killer pantry. Put ‘em to work, Annie.
Heck, I’d give that man a klondike bar for taking initiative. My husband wouldn’t dream of tackling such a project. You must have lived in that house for a long time. We’ve moved every few years so we never have that really old food. My mom, though, has antiques back in the dark corners of the high cupboards.
A Klondike bar. Love that, Hillary.
that made me laugh! Enjoy your new pantry. kelley—the road goes ever ever on
Dibs on how long it stays this way. I’m going with three days…seeing as how Twin A already dumped a Tupperware container o’ brownies in it yesterday morning.
haha – the exp. dates cracked me up. That and you screaming 5 times. This is the thing my husband does all the time. He comes up with projects and expects us to stop anything we are doing and be at his side. It’s annoying, really.
But on another note – your pantry looks fabulous.
One of the mystifying things about grooms, Debbie. When he decides to clean the garage? We run for the hills.
And thank you for the pantry love.
Hahahaha!!! That will teach you not to miss church again!
The pantry DOES look good and organized, though 
Seriously. We were being punished, Jen. Of this I am certain.
Wow, look at that – what an improvement! It’s so painful to do, but makes you feel so good after you’ve done it! Congrats on the clean pantry!
Missy, I’m considering sleeping in it until I give our master bedroom the thorough purging that it needs.
I want a pantry so bad. The next house we move into has to have two things; A pantry and a walk in closet. Right now, I’m having to stack groceries on top of the children so we can keep the crackers and the fruit snacks.
Your pantry’s so clean and I shiny, I might just show up and move in to one of those sanitized corners…:)
Paige, girl, you are welcome to creep into one of our sanitized corners and stay as long as you’d like. It’ll be fantastic. We’ll talk twins and share yoga pants.
This? Is so something my guy would do!
*Shudder*
{Your pantry looks fab, though!
}
So, Galit. After that little exercise, the pantry looked kind of…you know…naked. So I went to the grocery store today. And I refuse to disclose how much I spent in order to fill it back up. Le sigh.