Who doesn’t love a good birthing story?
No need to answer that, friends. All birthing stories are, by nature, about as fascinating as a lump of vanilla pudding. And quite a good deal grosser.
So, naturally, I’m going to subject you to one of mine. But here’s the bright side: I’ll deliver {har! deliver!} it to you in six bullet points.
Awesome, yes?
Don’t answer that either.
Now then. Let’s push on.
{that’s the last bad pun…promise.}
{my fingers are crossed}
-The news that I was carrying twins twelve years ago was a complete and utter shock. I cried my eyes out for two days before coming to terms with the fact that my first born would be first borns.
-Equally shocking was the fact that I carried those babes a whopping 38.5 weeks with no signs of impending labor. Whatsoever. Unless you count cankles the size of Sequoia trunks.
-My ob/gyn had mercy upon my swollen self and scheduled an induction. Pitocin, the drug du jour, was sent coursing through my veins, and I steeled myself in anticipation of a violently speedy delivery.
-Pitocin does not always induce a violently speedy delivery. Some women wait 24 hours hooked up to needles before labor is jump started. One of those women is yours truly.
-That was exactly 12 years ago today. It also happened to be my 30th birthday.
-May 23, our collective birthday, falls under the astrological sign of Gemini…the twins.
And now, if you’ll excuse me…I’ve got some serious celebrating to do.
Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.
Happy Birthday to you all! Hope you enjoy every moment of your day!
Thanks, love. We’ve already had donuts, candles, and singing. Whoop whoop!
You have quite a lot to celebrate! Good job on all your labor!! With my second I had Pitocin, because my water broke, but I was not dilating. It took 21 hours!!
Agreed, Caroline. On the reasons to celebrate, and on the suckiness of Pitocin.
Happy Birthday to ALL of you!
{Geesh, you have to try and top us all. I thought I held the title for the most people on on birthing day –me, my hub, his big bro, and my cousin all popped into the world on the same day.}
And donuts would totally work. Cheers.
Seriously, Kerry? That’s pretty major, too. Let’s share the trophy.
And that’s when all the cray cray goodness began…….
LOVE the cray! {and you}
Best birth story I’ve heard. This is as all birth stories should be: Short, humorous and a happy ending! Happy birthday!
Wow…thanks, Suz!
Happy birthday x3! (It’s also my mom’s birthday, so obviously a great day to be born.)
Do you get to have THREE cakes today? Because cake is awesome!
Awww…happy birthday to your mom.
Holy cow!!!! Happy Birthday!!! To all of you! What an awesome birthday present!!
Don’t celebrate too hard
P.S. Next year you will officially have teenagers…that scares the living daylights out of me.
Best present ever.
And teenagers? SCARY fo sho.
Happy birthday you fabulous lady! You are my hero. I hope those two “deliver” on Mother’s Day and YOUR birthday as they get older.
Thanks, girlfriend. xo
Now that’s an awesome birthing story! And one worth sharing! I also had pitocin and it is from the devil. My epidural only worked on one side for the first 4 hours or so, and even feeling half the pain made me scream like a banshee. Ok that’s all I’m going to share.
You shared *just* enough, Kristen. Thank you.
Happy birthday Sue and twins! I had Pitocin twice and both times it took minutes…yes I said minutes. The second time the nurses didn’t believe me and I made the Dr swear he wouldn’t leave the hospital for lunch
But I degress…have a wonderful birthday!!!
Pitocin is one wicked juice, yo.
Sounds very similar to the birth of my twins. They just turned two on the 21st, the cusp of Gemini and Taurus. I cried when I found out it was twins, my first borns as well. Pitocin to help jumstart my stalled labour, but only after 15 hours of being hooked up to two heart beat monitors for the babies, and one monitor for contractions, antibiotics IV because I never had my streptococcus test done. And then they broke my daughters water, then an epidural shortly after. 30 hours of labour, only 2 hours of pushing, and I had two healthy babies. Happy Belated Birthday to you and your boys!
Wow…our stories are eerily similar, Cassandra!
I can’t believe your vagina held them in there that long.
Is she made out of steel?
Happy Birthday Twins!
Ha. Vagina of Steel. Or VOS, for short. I quite like the ring of that.
Awww, happy birthday to your twins!! Good God, you’ve got your hands full now! And it sounds like you’re gonna have some teenagers soon also, and that’s whole ‘nuther kind of congrats! My two baby girls are teenagers now *sigh*, and believe me, I’d go back to the diaper days in a heartbeat if I had a time machine. Damn it. I really enjoy your blog! It’s hilarious! I hope my blog is half as funny as yours!
Thanks for the kind words, Cindy…on my way to visit your place now…
A SLIGHTLY late congrats, from a fellow Gemini, and fellow mother of twins.
I didn’t knock mine out on my birthday, mind you, but it’s insanely cool that you did. I hope that the suturing of your ladyparts was minimal, because, while motherhood is a great way to celebrate your birthday…stitches are not. 
You all share a birthday? That’s pretty cool!
I was also in complete shock when I found out I was having “first borns!” I have 4 year-old identical twin boys and I am STILL in shock. I carried to 37.5 weeks and then my water broke. 20 hours of labor and then a c-section. Horrible and best day of my life. Some days I STILL can’t believe there are two!!
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m glad I found your blog from Twitter!
That is awesome – although I totally wud have cried for 9 mo if there were 2 in there. I actually had the ob check to make sure there was only 1.