Layout Image
  • Home
  • Who Is This Woman?
  • As Seen On…
  • Popular Posts
  • Advertise/PR
  • Contact Me

Author Archive for Sue

The Almighty Grab Stone

By Sue · Comments (0) · January 25th, 2020

The text came in at precisely 3:28 am this morning.

Grabstone

The Grab Stone

And of course, My Weird Brain was wide awake at that moment.

So I read it:

“PRAY.”

That was it…but it spoke volumes. It was from a dear girlfriend and sister in Christ (did i just Jesus you? oh yes i did) who was evidently undergoing a crisis of sorts. When this girlfriend tells me to pray? I hit my knees faster than you can say Pete’s Your Bachelor.

What was I praying for? That wasn’t immediately clear. But I prayed nonetheless…for her and for her offspring, for their father and for his wife. I prayed over the whole mess that has tormented her for the past decade. And by the time I was finished, tears were streaming from my eyes and I was spent. I just knew, from past history, that the request signified something dreadful.

I texted her back: “DONE.” And I waited.

The story slowly unfurled via choppy texts over the next hour, which signified that she wasn’t at a location that enabled her to speak on the phone. The story was, indeed, dreadful.

So I prayed some more.

And again? I prayed.

Several hours later, she found herself with a moment to talk, and so we did. We cried and pondered why and prayed and cried some more. My heart ached for her and for my own feeling of uselessness in this family situation. I asked with some trepidation, “What else can I do?”

“Ummm…you can have your Handy Man swing by and take a look at my drywall that needs repair. I’d do it myself but have absolutely no time for it.”

“Consider it done!” I replied with a new sense of purpose. “Can we come over while you’re not home today?”

“Sure,” she answered…and then she promptly dissolved into indistinguishably quiet sobs.

“How can we get in?” I pressed, praying (again) that I would be able to understand.

“The Grab Stone,” she croaked, so softly that she was barely audible.

My mind flitted here and there, conjuring up etherial images of a shiny grab stone in a secret location on the exterior of her house that, when rubbed just so, would grant the rubber with access to her abode. “OK…Where is the Grab Stone?” I asked with reverence befitting to the reference.

“Huh?” She choked. And then…silence.

And then? Chuckles, followed by guffaws, followed by belly laughs which made me envious that I wasn’t in on the joke.

“Grab Stone?” she echoed. And then, “I said garage code!”

Ooooooooohhhhh.

Realization and fits of laughter simultaneously washed over me. I chuckled. I guffawed. I snorted and howled.

And when our laughter subsided, we prayed in gratitude for laughter in the midst of crisis.

And for The Almighty Grab Stone.

Comments (0)

The Bachelor Virtual Viewing Party

By Sue · Comments (0) · January 3rd, 2020

I consider myself to be a woman of marginal to impeccable taste.

Peter the Pilot

Peter the Pilot

Truly, I do. On my “on” days, my humble abode is exquisitely decorated, I clothe myself in stylish apparel, and I cook deliciously nutritious meals for my loved ones and me.

And on my “off” days?

I lollygag on the sofa in my pjs, swilling beer, stuffing my gob with Pirate’s Booty, and watching The Bachelor on TV.

Oh, the humanity.

I do take heart in the knowledge that I am not alone. The Bachelor has millions of fans the world over…throngs who count the minutes until Monday evenings at 7 pm Central Standard Time before indulging in the train wreck that is arguably the most popular reality show on television. We…Bachelor Nation, that is…take great delight in following the escapades of The Bachelor, cheering for our favorite female contestants, hurling Pirate’s Booty at the screen when villainesses rear their coiffed heads, and generally hooting and hollering at the often ridiculous yet undeniably entertaining shenanigans that ensue for two hours each Monday.

Some go so far as to participate in Bachelor viewing parties. They gather at a girlfriend’s home to watch as a group and enjoy said shenanigans as a gaggle.

But not I. Nosirreeee.

To sure, I do host a viewing party of sorts, but it is a Virtual Viewing Party. *insert air quotes*

What is a Virtual Viewing Party, *again with the air quotes* you ask?

Well. Anywhere from half a dozen to a hundred or so guests hop onto my Facebook page while viewing The Bachelor and share out observations, commentary, and  general sass with one another in a thread of comments, photos, and GIFs (that’s Graphic Interchange Format to the layman or laywoman.) We hoot and holler and hurl Booty and have ourselves a fine time without leaving the comfort of our homes. There are even weekly prizes for the top commenters and a grand prize after the final rose ceremony.

It’s the place to be, friends.

Want in on the action?

Of course you do.

Click here to RSVP for this highly exclusive, weekly event. Everyone and their dog is invited.

Confused about how this event goes down? I’ll shoot a live video tutorial on The Spin Cycle Facebook page at 3 pm on Sunday, January 5 and break it down for you.

Invite friends! Bring snacks and cocktails! Wear your comfies!

See you soon, friends, for what promises to be the most dramatic…the most shocking…and the most entertaining season in Bachelor history.

Comments (0)

In Which The Spin Cycle Takes a Spin

By Sue · Comments (8) · December 20th, 2019

Helloooo! Greetings! Top o’ the morning to you!

My Weird Brain roused me at the ripe old hour of 3:15 this morning. I told it to shut up.

It did not listen, friends.

So here I am, three hours later, with four loads of clean laundry, washed dishes, and a loaf of banana bread fresh out of the oven. My humble abode smells scrumptious, if if I do say so myself.

The crazies hypomanic tendencies do come with perks.

Truth be told, I’m quite surprised that My Weird Brain was up at the buttcrack of dawn this morning in light of the fact that last night was a big night for my small business. You see, in addition to teaching elementary school, I own my own stake in Rodan + Fields as an Independent Consultant.

Why, you ask? Here are my whys:

•It pays. In spades. My side hustle allows The Cherubs and me to indulge in little luxuries such as dinners out, vacation funds, and many of our wants in life that go beyond our basic needs.

•My paychecks provide my family and me with skincare that has been ranked #1…in quality and in sales…among premium brands in North America.

•It gives me the opportunity to change people’s lives by changing the condition of their skin. Acne? Wrinkles? Superdry skin? Sun spots and freckles? Forgetaboutit. R+F has a regimen for every type of skin.

•It’s fun, people. You don’t have to be a salesperson to work this biz. Heck, all I know how to do is instruct rugrats and turn a phrase on this silly little blog. So if I can do it? And have fun? So can you.

Think about that.

Done thinking? Allrigjtythen.

Anyway. Last night marked the culmination of a friendly little giveaway competition which I orchestrated. $80 worth of skincare, to be exact. The contestants solved a moderately challenging holiday logic puzzle, and from the field of correct answers, I spun a nifty virtual roulette wheel to randomly chose one as the winner.

Superfun. Superduperfun, indeed. I mean, how can anything involving limoncello, Christmas jammies, and a roulette wheel not be?

I revealed the puzzle solution as well as the winner via live video in my R+F Facebook group, and I had a blast doing it. Should you care…or even if you don’t…a link to the video is viewable at the end of this post. It’s about 12 minutes long what with the technical difficulties and verbal tangents.

What’s that, you say? Wishing you could win $80 worth of premium skincare?

Go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/suecoatesrf to join the group and view the puzzle at the top of the group page. Solve it, submit your answer in a comment on this post by 5  pm CST on Friday, 12.27.19, and THEN you may watch the video for the solution.

No cheating. Cheating is…well…for cheaters.

Consolation prize: Check out susancoates.myrandf.com and view all that R+F has to offer. If you’re not sure which products are for you, take this free, one minute quiz and let R+F figure it out for you. Should you care to order anything as a Preferred Customer, I’ll pay your one-time PC fee as well as rebate 20% of the pre-tax and shipping product total.

You’re welcome. Falalalalalalalalaaaa.

Without further ado, I humbly present my video. Click below, scoll a bit until you see an image of me in pigtails, and enjoy. xoxo

The. Video.

 

 

Comments (8)

The Lint Trap

By Sue · Comments (2) · December 8th, 2019

Gooooooood morning! I’m still riding a moderately maniacal, highly enjoyable, and uber-productive wave, so here I am again.

For those of you who are counting, this makes two posts in two weeks. *smugly pats self on back*

My eyes snapped open at 3:52 am this morning. I threw back the covers and leapt out of bed with enthusiasm akin to that of a child on Christmas morning.

Well, a 48 year old child. With a crick in her neck and a strained left Achilles tendon, both of which protested the sudden motion.

But I digress.

I started doing laundry. Four loads of it, to be exact. After removing each load from of the dryer, I dutifully scraped the lint trap clean to ensure that my humble abode wouldn’t combust from clogged dryer vents.

Anyone else find that menial task to be inexplicably satisfying? No? Just me? Well, then. I’m here to tell you that You. Are. Missing. Out. Onallofthesatisfaction. Using one’s fingernails to gingerly extract that soft layer of condensed lint…intact…from the lint trap? Is the bomb. No lie. Don’t make the mistake of assigning that responsibility to anyone else in your home, my friends. No, no…you keep that fun allllll to yourself.

That’s a pro tip, right there. Free of charge.

Anyway.

As I cleared The Lint Trap for the fourth time? I made a mental connection. A proverbial light bulb flickered on in My Weird Brain, and My Weird Brain then settled upon The Spin Cycle and the menial task of clearing out my spam comments folder. For those of you who don’t blog…and I assume that would be the vast majority of you…fools bloggers like me go through the comments submitted by readers after each post. We chuckle over the clever ones, snuffle at the touching ones, and delete the spam that collects in the spam folder.

Check that. I actually open that spam folder with wide-eyed anticipation, for that folder full of comment “lint” is nearly as fun to pore over as my dryer lint trap.

In fact? My brilliant friend Thea? Who I’ve never met, but love nonetheless because of her enviable writing prowess? This Thea character titled her own site The Lint Trap as an homage to clearing out Her Weird Brain via her blog.

The Spin Cycle puffy pink hearts The Lint Trap.

But again…I digress.

Ahem. So I scuttled from the laundry room to the butler’s pantry, where I keep my MacBook hidden behind a faux wall that opens with the push of a button.

Wait…no. I own neither a butler’s pantry nor a faux wall.

But I *do* have my trusty MacBook. I snapped it open, logged on to The Spin Cycle, and perused my spam folder. Wannasee what was in there?

No?

Meh. Here it is anyway:

SPAM

 

Satisfying, right? Right???

I relish the opportunity to make my way through this folder and pore over its contents. I reflect upon how these spambots from the world over have found MY little corner of cyberspace and left tokens of their spammy esteem.

Who knows? I may print out its entire contents…extracting them in one inviolate linty layer…and frame them in my butler’s pantry.

Post Script: Sadly, The Lint Trap is no longer an active site; Nonetheless, I did consult with my brilliant, absolutely real friend Thea and obtained permission to reference her post mortem blog title in this post.

Post Post Script: I love real comments slightly more than spammy comments. PLEASE don’t be shy about leaving your comments after this post or any others. I’ll reply…promise. 

 

 

 

Comments (2)

The Holy Throwback

By Sue · Comments (2) · November 27th, 2019

Good morning.

It’s been approximately three years since I last waxed poetic within my little corner of The Interwebs. And I can’t say that I’ve been missing it all that much.

Until today.

Long story short, I have this weird brain that flits in and out of moods and emotions more frequently than Ariana Grande dons new outfits at her concerts. Not that I’ve been to one of the little tart’s Ariana’s performances.

But still.

My chronic insomnia roused me at 5:00 this morning and whispered into my weird brain, “Hey, you sexy thing. Let’s write.”

So here I am.

Upon reflection, it’s quite fitting that I sit here with my MacBook in my lap on the day before Thanksgiving, for my Christmas decor is already in place. It conjures memories from days of yore…specifically, the days in which The Cherubs delighted in putting up our family Nativity and invariably wreaking good-natured havoc upon it.

And this year, The Smallish One, now at age fifteen, conducted a throwback of sorts. In his quirky signature style, he lent his own creative touch to the Nativity that infuses the holy vignette with his own artistic abilities honed in a school ceramics class.

And so, without further ado, may I humbly present…

Nat1 Nat2 Nat3

The Holy Throwback.

Comments (2)

Peeking. Peaking? Peeking. {about blogging}

By Sue · Comments (32) · January 9th, 2017

Hello?

Remember me?

Anyone out there?

Just dipping a cautious toe into the Interwebs to see if any of my followers are still around.  Might you enjoy a possible resurrection of my long cast-aside blogging habit?

If not, just say so in a comment.

And if so…uh…just say so in a comment.  And kindly share this post via social media so that I might gather more feedback and get a better feel as to whether I should resume.  Thank you, friends.  It’s been over two years…there’s a lot to to catch up on.

Up upon which to catch.

Damm prepositions.  xo

Comments (32)

So Here’s the Thing…A Book! And a Giveaway!

By Sue · Comments (2) · November 24th, 2014

It’s been awhile, friends.  Eight months, to be exact.

What’s up?

Me?  I’m still bobbing and weaving around The Sucker Punches to the very best of my capabilities.  It’s been a long eight months…a long stinkin’ year…to put it succinctly.

It’ll be OK one of these days.

But that’s not why I’m writing today.  Nosirree.

I’m writing to tell you that I’ve been writing.

*cue raising of eyebrows and scratching of heads and questioning of sanity*

To clarify:  I’m writing a book.
Yup.  I’ve been at it since the first of November, when I took it upon myself to get a little gumption and join the ranks of the WriMos.
Do you know them?  They’re a fabulous bunch of folks like me who have the goal of hammering out a draft for a novel…50,000 words’ worth…during the month of November.
That’s nuts, right?  Right?
Yeah.  Well, so am I, apparently.  So it all works out quite nicely.
What will my book be about?  I’m glad you asked.  Click here to be magically transported my NaNoWriMo page, where you can view a synopsis and an excerpt from my book, which is aptly titled So Here’s the Thing.
And why am I telling you this?  Because I have a tendency to overshare.
And also because, while I’m writing, I’m raising money for the nonprofit that runs NaNoWriMo.  They’re all about promoting literacy worldwide.  At the risk of tooting my own horn, I’m doing quite well in my donation garnering efforts.  Click here for verification of that claim.  In essence, I’m the second leading fundraiser behind some chick whose family is throwing thousands of dollars toward her cause.
Whatever.
I’m also telling you this because I’m running a giveaway this week!  What am I giving away, you ask?
So glad you did.
It’s this.
WTFar
WTClose
A Wildtree holiday treat gift set, which includes ingredients and recipes for whoopie pies (pumpkin flavoring optional) and peppermint hot chocolate.
Don’t know about Wildtree?  What’s wrong with you people?
Wildtree is a pioneer in the field of helping folks like you and me create simple, homemade, healthy, allergy-free, delicious meals for families.  And I’d love to share a taste of Wildtree with you, so to speak.
Want in?
I knew you would.  Kindly jump through as many Rafflecopter hoops below as you’d like, and your name will automatically be thrown in the proverbial hat.  Enter early.  Enter often.  Enter daily!  A winner will be randomly chosen on Friday and announced on Saturday morning.*  Good luck, all!
*please note below that a donation to NaNoWriMo is worth ten entries, and a lookiloo at Wildtree’s Facebook page is worth five.  Please contribute as you are comfortable during this season of giving, and get your Wildtree on!
*continental US residents, only, please. I’m not made of money.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Comments (2)

Going Sailing

By Sue · Comments (11) · March 20th, 2014

I’ve enjoyed the past couple of months of catching up on my online drivel and sharing it with you, friends.  But I must tell you…

The sucker punches have begun again.  In earnest.

Dagnabbit.

And while bobbing and weaving and maneuvering around them to the best of my ability, it’s become clear to me that the best course of action for the time being is to back away from the blog for another while.  And from social media altogether.

I’ll be back when the time is right.  I’m not giving up on The Spin Cycle…and I sincerely hope that you won’t either.

Promise?  Cross your heart?

Know that I’ll miss you, friends…and if you’d like to stay in touch, my email address on my “Contact Me” page is still active.  I would love to hear what you’re up to.

As for me?  I’m going to try my hand at sailing…so to speak.  My course will most assuredly not be a smooth one.

But, when all is said and done…

…I’ll be better for it.

 

Smooth Sea Skilled Sailor

 

Linking with Shell at Things I Can’t Say

Comments (11)

Too Much

By Sue · Comments (22) · March 13th, 2014

I don’t have too much to say today, friends…I fear that a twinge of Seasonal Affective Disorder has finally gotten the better of me.

Today is March 13th.  Two weeks before Spring Break week in Chiberia.  And on the 11th?  We received yet another healthy dumping of snow.

It is too much.  Too much, I say.

The bird that usually nests in my laundry room windowsill keeps conducting tentative fly-bys,  unsure of where to land and start her brood.

My back deck is overflowing with as much dog excrement as snow.  On the coldest days, poor Gwen the rescued Foxhound-Beagle Mix doesn’t dare to tread down its slick stairs to the back yard below.

But today…as I defiantly drank my coffee on on of the front porch rocking chairs, parka-clad, teeth a-chattering…I glanced up at the sun (NotForTooLongYoullBurnYourRetinae) and felt a rush of optimism.

I surveyed the icicles hanging from the garage roof.  They glistened as fat drops of melting ice fell from their tips to the driveway below.

My eyes darted across The Tundra Formerly Known as the Front Lawn.  And while there was still not a patch of green to be found, I did see something that made me smile.

Chicago Winter 2014

Can you see it, friends?

At first I couldn’t believe my eyes.  We have built no snowmen since January.  What I witnessed on my front lawn was created by nature itself.

Surely, it was a divine message.

near

Winter, that saucy season, was flipping itself the bird.

Surely, spring is on its way.

Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat:  ”Something that you have too much of.”

Comments (22)

How I’m Doing Lent {Decrapification 101}

By Sue · Comments (22) · March 6th, 2014

I grew up a devout Episcopalian, which is about as close as you can get to Catholic without necessitating the purchase of a rosary or the memorization of four dozen saints’ names.  Otherwise, I was more or less Catholic, for all intents and purposes, right down to the strict observance of Lent.

No…not the little wuzzy stuff that you remove from your sweaters with a roller.  That’s lint.  And lint is pretty much impossible to observe, anyway.

I’m talking about the 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday.  That time during which all sorts of folks…Catholic and otherwise…give up their habits and vices and addictions oh my in remembrance of all that Jesus sacrificed for the world.

Over the years, I anticipated Lent with about as much enthusiasm as an anticipated mammogram…you know…

Ultimately good for me.

And painful as all get-out.

For weeks preceding Lent, I would agonize, changing my mind again and again, about what I would have to live without for a month, wondering all the while how I would ever get by.

Chocolate?

French fries?

Coffee?

Wine?  *shudder*

Why did it always seem to be consumption-centered?

Come to think of it, In those days, I might very well have preferred observing lint to observing Lent.

It wasn’t until the past decade or so that I started seeing Lent through a different lens, so to speak.

Not lint through a magnifying glass…Lent with different eyes.

I began to regard Lent as a time of reflection…

Of moderation…

Of casting off that which does not matter, that which fills my mind and life with unnecessary distractions and complications…

…in order to simplify and focus on what matters most.

I don’t know about you, but I can do with a lot less Stuff and a lot more of What Matters Most.

And in that spirit, this Lent, I’m doing this:

40 Bags in 40 Days

Can I say “crap” during Lent? Yes…yes, I believe I can.

I stumbled across this pin while having hours of my life sucked away by perusing Pinterest, so I clicked over to see what the hubbub was about.

Turns out?  It’s about spending the 40 days prior to Easter casting off that which does not matter.

Simplifying.

Eliminating distractions.

Of cutting the crap, so to speak.  There now…I just said it again.

40 bags of crap (OopsISaidItAgain)…or cabinets de-cluttered…or drawers streamlined…or closets cleaned…in 40 days.

This?  Is a challenge that I relish.

So now, if you’ll excuse me…my closet is beckoning me.

I have some serious decrapifying to do.

Tell me…do you “do” Lent?  And if so, how are you doing it this year?

Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat:  Pinterest Inspired!

Comments (22)
Next Page »

Connect With Me

The Spin Cycle Delivers to Your Inbox

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

My Sponsors Rock my Socks


 
Get my toolbar!
View this SkinnyScoop List

Sorted by Date

  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • January 2017
  • November 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012

Sorted By Topic

Grab My Button




The Spin Cycle
Copyright © 2025 All Rights Reserved
Photo in banner courtesy of Zachary Watkins.
Powered by Wordpress.