I come here once a month to see the young man.
My young man.
“Trevor” is the name on the placard affixed over his right breast.
But…deep down…I sense that this is not his true name.
I come here once a month, and he treats me like a queen. He caresses my feet. He massages my legs.
He makes my toenails? Look ah-MAZE-ing.
But his words have a way of cutting through the fairy tale and shattering the romanticism.
And yet I return, time and again, drawn to his handiwork like a moth to a flame:
**************************************************************************************************************************
I settle into the leather chair. The one with the built-in massager. I ease my feet into the warmth of of the swirling water.
Trevor: “You’re a runner.”
Me: “Me? Why, yes…yes, I am.” Pleased that he has noticed, I flex my toes upward out of sea salt bath, accentuating my calves in so doing. ”How can you tell?”
Trevor: “This toenail here is black and blue. It is going to fall off.”
*Silence, save for the whir of the foot bath. I return my toes to a neutral position.
Trevor: (Under his breath, to the tune of Moon River) “Bluuueeeee tonailsssss…”
Trevor: “I see you running up the road when I drive to work. You wear the sunglasses all the time. Even when the sun is not shining. Why? You are hiding?”
Me: ”Pardon me?”
Trevor: ”Why you run so much? You remind me of that other runner I see all the time. I call her the Strange Running Lady. Why you run so much? So you not get fat?”
Me: “What? No! I just like it, okay?”
Trevor: ”But why? So you not go crazy?”
Me: ”No. That’s why I blog.”
Trevor: ”Huh? What is blog?”
Me: “It’s where I write about all of the people that bother me. You know, so I don’t go crazy. The whole neighborhood reads my blog. All of the ladies that come here to get their toes done? They read my blog.”
Trevor: ”Oh.” Trevor files my blue toenail gingerly, then trims the cuticle just so. ”You want free soak in the lavender oil today? Free. Just for my special customer.”
Me: ”Why, yes, Trevor…that would be lovely. Thank you, darling.”
And so it goes. I shall return next month.
Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writers’ Workshop: ”Write a post about an argument you recently had with someone from the moment of conflict to the moment of resolution in 15 lines or less.”
“Bluuueeeee tonailsssss…” a la Moon River? Love it. I want a Trevor. And your blog is gorgeous. Found you via Mama Kat’s!
Yeah. For one with limited English proficiency, Trevor sure knows his oldies. Thanks for the kind words about the design. Nicole at http://www.thepixelboutique.com is a rock star.
Echo what Jen said – your blog look is ah-mazing! Delinquent nails are the worst…I have one as well. (Although it is a greenish yellow..trade ya for your black/blue one…no? Oh – OK. Wait…did I overshare? Damn it.)
Nic – Not an overshare at all. And I think I would like to trade, actually. I’ve heard that greenish-yellow is the new bluish-black.
This is why I go to the cocoon and mask of Coldwater Creek….
Well, Denise. I suppose that my retelling of Trevor’s verbal abuse will do no harm in your case, then. What with your *cocoon* and *mask* and all things fanciful in the spaaahhhh. xo
See? You are sexy. I told you.
You know it, girlfriend.
Oh. My. God. Trevor sounds awesome. Just. Awesome. Like one of those guys who should be always seen and never heard, haha.
Sadly, the music joke is one I would have made. Not under my breath. Out loud.
Yes. Awesome. In the I-want-to-rip-your-vocal-chords-out sense of the word.
Trevor sure knows how to make polite conversation.
Thank goodness for free lavender soaks.
Only for the Special Customers, though. *flutters eyelashes*
This is AWESOME!!! I love Trevor’s questions about why you run. Also, I wish we runners could have prettier feet.
xo
Girl? Me too. Runners’ paradox: Great legs. Awful toenails.
Love that you got the free lavender bath, this argument made me lol. Stopping by from Mama Kat’s.
Julia – This man owes me TEN free lavender soaks for the verbal abuse that I put up with. *sigh*
He only talks to you that way because you’re special. Also, stalker much? (seeing you run – is that a regular occurence? Him driving and seeing you run?)
Special? Sure. Stalked? Hmmm…sure hope not!
hahahaha!! you got boyfriend? you work today? where you live?
Mmmm hmmm. Jealous much, Cath?
You know I just took up running? I’m not going to Trevor or he’ll scare me away with that toenail stuff. I need all the motivation I can get right now!
Keep runnin’ the good run, girlfriend. And NEVER let the Trevors get you down.
Oh Sue, this is hysterical! My neighbours think I’m the crazy running lady too. Own it Sister! Trevor is a fool not to notice your rippling calves!
You are so good for my ego, Sandra. You are like the yin to Trevor’s yang. xx
Trevor’s questions made me laugh. Probably because they weren’t directed at me.
Yeah. A regular comedian, he is…
I have no f-ing clue what my toenail trimmer beautification person says to me. I just nod.
I think it’s better that way, Kimberly.
Dying! And sort of in love with Trevor that he was the fodder for such a funny post!
I told him I was going to write about him. I don’t think he believed me. So I should show up with my laptop in hand next time, right?
That toenail makes me nervous…..does that happen all the time??
Only when I run 25-30 miles a week. Which is every week. So yes. I’ve always said that toenails are for sissies…
Clearly I’m not using my blog correctly.
Funny stuff!
Came by from #FindingTheFunny.
I know, right? Blackmail by blog. Who knew?
you blog so you don’t go crazy. Me too ! Found you at finding the funny.
Love meeting a fellow therapy blogger! Welcome!
This is hysterical!!! Ouch.. with the toenail. Feel free to link this up on my sat laughs:)
Laugh or cry, right? Will check your place out, Mel…thanks for the invite!
The Moon River serenade? Worthy of an extra tip.
Came from #FindingtheFunny!
I KNOW, right? Curled my toes – so to speak – when he started up with that.