YOU GUYS! I have been nominated as one of the Top 25 Humor Blogs of the year over at SkinnyScoop! Would you mind taking a moment to click over, scroll down to my Spin Cycle icon, and click “like?” Thank you!
Also: A bit of business…Thank you to everyone who entered the Thinkfun WordARound giveaway! Click here and scroll down to view the winner in the Rafflecopter box of the giveaway post. I’ll be emailing the winner today to obtain shipping address information. I hope that they enjoy the puzzle as much as we have.
And now…Back to our regularly scheduled Valentines Day post:
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Dearest Ginormous Handbag of Mine,
You know who you are. The one that has been at my side longer than my groom. The one with the seams stretched to their limits. The one that smells as if something unsavory has been left within you to die a slow, horrible death.
Yes…you. You are all of these things, as well as other things far, far more horrific. And yet…inexplicably…
I love you.
There. I said it.
You hold my deepest, darkest secrets. I cram junk lovingly tuck treasures away within your confines, and I know that you will never divulge them to the outside world.
Unless I am asked by the lovely Kelley of Kelley’s Break Room to dump your contents for all of the blogosphere to see.
*drum roll*
Bam. See the corresponding numbered list below to decipher what the flippin’ frack was in my bag.
1. One Bazillion Lego Guys confiscated from The Small One as he tried to smuggle them to school.
2. Stag’s Leap Wine Cork…evidently, I had a *great* night recently.
3. Tissues. *Tip* If you have your sick Cherub blow their nose right before you drop them off at school? You get a good hour of Mommytime before school calls you to pick them up. Or so I’ve heard.
4. Clear Coat Nail Lacquer. Sort of a Jack of all trades: Nail cover, run stopper, Cherub mouth sealant, etc.
5. Assortment of Pens, half of which are monogrammed with our vet’s name. Sort of like still having a dog, I suppose. Le sigh.
6. Blackberry. Not an Iphone. Blackberry. Don’t judge.
7. Burping Cheeseburger Key Chain that Twin B Received in his Stocking at Christmas. WTHeck, Santa?
8. Wallet and Car Keys. Duh.
9. Poi Dog Pondering CD. A nice alternative in the car to the KidzBop juggernaut.
10. Behemoth Grocery Store Receipt. This purchase should see the five of us through the week. No lie…I think I’m raising goats here.
11. Box of Paperclips Lifted from the School Office when I Stopped in to Volunteer. Sshhhh. Why thievery? See Behemoth Grocery Store Receipt.
12. Leftover Vitamins from our Last Family Vacation in a Baggie. Yes, officer…they’re really VITAMINS.
Aaaand there you have it, friends. My purse Kelley-dumped for your amusement. Ain’t love grand? What’s in your bag?
Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop.
Our grocery lists are long too. Ouch.
I only have a few things in my bag – wallet, house keys, latest credit card receipt, tissues, wet wipes, pen, tiny notepad. If we’re going out with the kids, then throw in a couple of diapers, water bottles, snacks, and extra pack of wet wipes.
This is why women need big bags, damnit.
Uh-huh. And to think that I never used to carry a bag…just handed over my drivers license and lipstick to the Groom if we were heading out for the evening. Pre-Cherubs, of course.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! The glove??? What you use when “lifting” items???
My bag? VERY SMALL. Boring, but easy on the shoulder. However could never be used as a weapon. Oh well.
SSShhhh on the glove. If it doesn’t fit? You must acquit.
Also – You have grown children, Abi. Hence the small, unweaponly bag. xo
Sorry to burst your purse – I mean – bubble, but ’twas ever thus – small, smaller smallest – kids or no kids! My diaper bag was a purse – about the size of an 8 1/2 x 11 inch sheet of paper and about 3 inches thick! Don’t ask me how – it just was!
But what I REALLY, REALLY want is Hermione’s purse. Now THAT would be FANTASTIC. Smile.
Whatever.
Hermione’s purse…heee!
I, too, have a large, wonderful bag. I love it. Really, I do. It holds all my various objects that I collect on my travels and carries the things we need to keep us fed and comfy. I used to just carry a wallet and a lipstick in my pocket, but those days are long gone.
Yep, Kim…I was just like you in the olden days. Sometimes I miss them. But when I can dump my bag and belly laugh about it? It’s totally worth it.
So funny! I, too, think I am raising goats. My oldest and youngest like to graze all day. Great blog!
Thanks, Dawn. In addition to the goat thing, I’m fairly certain that Twin B has a hollow leg. NO clue where it all goes.
Now that the kids have grown up, I have found small purses are best. Plus they are easier to clean out, because they don’t hold much, but the essentials.
But how do you smuggle wine bottles into the movies, then?
I have no idea what is in my purse! I know I can’t ever find anything when I need it. Some day those cute little bags on the shelves will get to come home with me.
Yes, Laura…someday. *gazes off into distance*
You don’t want to know…way too much JUNK! Haha! I love the bag of Pistachios!
They are SO good! I eat a bag a week!
Hahaha!! You paperclip thief!! I had a Blackberry too…I loved it…then I got an iPhone, and I love it even more
Happy Valentine’s Day to you!!
Happy VDay to you, too, Jen! I really do my Blackberry…until I get a group text and can’t reply all…dagnabbit.
I have a large oversize bag in which I carry everything bar the kitchen sink……………………..lol It is a family joke if you want something Jo-Anne will have it in her bag…………lol
Mmm hmmm. I know the feeling, Jo-Anne…
died Laughing! to”The one that smells as if something unsavory has been left within you to die a slow, horrible death.” anyway nice stuff in your bag!
Crazylittlethingcalledblog.com
Well, thank you. *blush*
So funny!! I’m glad I’m not the only one who carries her entire existence with her in her bag. Or the only one who’s purse smells awful.
“Awful” doesn’t do it justice, Jamie. What’s, like, awful times a bazillion? Plus ten?
I am dying to do this but so worried what I may find. I once just threw the entire bag away for fear of what may be lurking in there! Supportive Husband just looked and asked ‘are you sure?’ Told him Yes! I can’t face what may be in there. I have resorted to just a purse- but have been told it has too much in it!