The Spin CycleFebruary 2013 - The Spin Cycle

Archive for February 2013

His Will be Done

By Sue · Comments (31) · February 28th, 2013

YOU GUYS! I have been nominated as one of the Top 25 Humor Blogs of the year over at SkinnyScoop! And would you believe that I’m currently in second place, with voting ending TODAY? Please take a moment to click over, scroll down to my Spin Cycle icon, and click “like” to vote. And by all means, please share the link! Thank you!

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So. Let’s get right down to it today, shall we?

God and I? We’re tight.

Stop looking at me like that, friends…If you had as much confessing to do as I? You’d be just as tight.

What’s more, over the course of the past few weeks, He has made His will for me abundantly clear.

He has sent me signs. And affirmations. And starry alignments that I can no longer call coincidences.

And do you know what He is telling me?

Of course you don’t. That’s why you’re here, no?

He wants me…

wait for it…

…to have an Iphone.

Yes. Of this I am certain. And by way of evidence, I offer…

The Top Five Signs from God that Tell Me I Need an Iphone

5. I’m getting callouses on my fingers from the keypad on my Blackberry. Aside: I’m also growing weary of pretending in mixed company that my Blackberry is an Iphone and pantomiming little touch-screen finger bluffs. Although I have become quite adept at it.

4. I can’t understand the cute little emoticon thingies that my friends send me in their texts. What looks like this on an Iphone?

Looks like this on a Blackberry.

I spent weeks under the impression that my contacts thought me to be a square before I caught a glimpse of an actual Iphone text and became hip to their lingo.

3. I cannot reply all when I receive a group text from my Girlfriends. The last time I tried to do so, saying, “Girlfriends! Pick me up on the way out to Sushi World tonight!” the message was received by only one Girlfriend, who was home sick. Unaware of this, I waited at the edge of my driveway for an hour that evening and was picked up by nobody. Unless you count the attempt made by the elderly gentleman out walking his Dachshund by moonlight. And I don’t.

2. My Blackberry case is broken.

How did it break, you ask?

Well, I’ll tell you. It popped open whilst I was riding in the back seat of a friend’s car. My well-meaning friend found in on the floor mat the next morning. No worries, texted the friend, adding a cute little emoticon thingy that looked like a square to me. I’ll have my groom drop it off for you on his way to work today, said the friend.

And drop it off, he did. In a snowbank next to my mailbox as he drove past my home at a 35 mile per hour clip whist running late for work.

I kid you not.

Anyway.

Trying to find a stylish replacement cover is about as easy as finding replacement parts for an IntelliVision gaming set. note: If you don’t know what IntelliVision is? You’re too young to be reading The Spin Cycle. They just don’t make ‘em any more, friends.

1. A week after my Blackberry case broke, I dropped my naked Blackberry in the toilet. I’d rather not divulge the details of exactly how this came to pass. But it did. And the blasted thing came back to life after a little slumber party in a Tupperware-clad bed of rice. And while I should have rejoiced at this small miracle? I wanted to drown the ~~Dingle~~Blackberry all over again.

So there you have it, friends. My birthday’s a mere three months away. As are the end of my patience and sanity. Pray for me, won’t you?

Amen.

Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: ”Incorporate the phrase, ‘Stop looking at me like that,’ into your post.”

Comments (31)

Healthy Shower Recipe – A Spin Cycle Tutorial

By Sue · Comments (26) · February 21st, 2013

YOU GUYS! I have been nominated as one of the Top 25 Humor Blogs of the year over at SkinnyScoop! And would you believe that I’m currently in second place? Please take a moment to click over, scroll down to my Spin Cycle icon, and click “like” to vote. And by all means, please share the link! Thank you!

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This week, the inimitable Mama Kat prompted me to share a guilt-free recipe with you all. And because I am ~~a joiner~~

~~a victim of bloggy hero worship~~

~~at a loss for a better topic~~

um, intrigued by this prompt, I have chosen to do just that. You probably know by now that, although I’m not much of a chef, I do love me some Pinterest action. And that? Is where I found the recipe that I share with you today.

It’s a hit at every baby shower that I’ve ever hosted. You know how expectant moms love their health food. And although it looks complicated, it truly is not.

Truly.

All you need is a watermelon, plus a boatload of other assorted fresh fruit…

an ounce of Limoncello…

…and that’s about it.

Here’s what you do:

1) Cut the watermelon in half and at a slight upward angle. Hollow out the middle.

2) Using a melon baller, scoop the flesh of your assorted fresh fruit into spheres.

3) Arrange the fruit in the hollowed-out watermelon to your liking.

4) Down the limoncello quicker than you can say “My friend’s got a bun in the oven!”

5) Tell yourself that the guests at the baby shower will love your creation.

6) Believe your positive self-talk as the limoncello hits you like a ton of bricks.

7) With a flourish, a slight stumble, and a TA-DAAAAAAAAAA!, present your creation to the shower attendees:

Mama.

It’ll have everyone at the shower buzzing. Or if not, it’ll have you buzzing. Which is kind of more important, anyway.

And there you have it, friends.

Healthy.

Stylish.

You’re welcome.

*For more super-nifty ideas like this one, please be sure to visit my Pinterest board entitled Things I Will Never Do. Ever.

Comments (26)

A Love Letter…And a Dump

By Sue · Comments (25) · February 14th, 2013

YOU GUYS! I have been nominated as one of the Top 25 Humor Blogs of the year over at SkinnyScoop! Would you mind taking a moment to click over, scroll down to my Spin Cycle icon, and click “like?” Thank you!

Also: A bit of business…Thank you to everyone who entered the Thinkfun WordARound giveaway! Click here and scroll down to view the winner in the Rafflecopter box of the giveaway post. I’ll be emailing the winner today to obtain shipping address information. I hope that they enjoy the puzzle as much as we have.

And now…Back to our regularly scheduled Valentines Day post:

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Dearest Ginormous Handbag of Mine,

You know who you are. The one that has been at my side longer than my groom. The one with the seams stretched to their limits. The one that smells as if something unsavory has been left within you to die a slow, horrible death.

Yes…you. You are all of these things, as well as other things far, far more horrific. And yet…inexplicably…

I love you.

There. I said it.

You hold my deepest, darkest secrets. I ~~cram junk~~ lovingly tuck treasures away within your confines, and I know that you will never divulge them to the outside world.

Unless I am asked by the lovely Kelley of Kelley’s Break Room to dump your contents for all of the blogosphere to see.

*drum roll*

Bam. See the corresponding numbered list below to decipher what the flippin’ frack was in my bag.

1. One Bazillion Lego Guys confiscated from The Small One as he tried to smuggle them to school.

2. Stag’s Leap Wine Cork…evidently, I had a *great* night recently.

3. Tissues. *Tip* If you have your sick Cherub blow their nose right before you drop them off at school? You get a good hour of Mommytime before school calls you to pick them up. Or so I’ve heard.

4. Clear Coat Nail Lacquer. Sort of a Jack of all trades: Nail cover, run stopper, Cherub mouth sealant, etc.

5. Assortment of Pens, half of which are monogrammed with our vet’s name. Sort of like still having a dog, I suppose. Le sigh.

6. Blackberry. Not an Iphone. Blackberry. Don’t judge.

7. Burping Cheeseburger Key Chain that Twin B Received in his Stocking at Christmas. WTHeck, Santa?

8. Wallet and Car Keys. Duh.

9. Poi Dog Pondering CD. A nice alternative in the car to the KidzBop juggernaut.

10. Behemoth Grocery Store Receipt. This purchase should see the five of us through the week. No lie…I think I’m raising goats here.

11. Box of Paperclips Lifted from the School Office when I Stopped in to Volunteer. Sshhhh. Why thievery? See Behemoth Grocery Store Receipt.

12. Leftover Vitamins from our Last Family Vacation in a Baggie. Yes, officer…they’re really VITAMINS.

Aaaand there you have it, friends. My purse Kelley-dumped for your amusement. Ain’t love grand? What’s in your bag?

Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop.

Comments (25)

WordARound – A ThinkFun Review and Giveaway

By Sue · Comments (7) · February 7th, 2013

Guess who’s back?

Back a-gain?

Tell a friend.

Nope. It’s not The Real Slim Shady.

It’s better.

It’s ThinkFun! *cue applause*

And they’ve shared a new game with me, friends. I can’t wait to tell you all about it. If you, uh…play your cards right, you could win one for yourself.

Did you see what I did there? A clever little funny?

No?

Anyway.

Introducing WordARound.

Eight year-old, pajama-clad flu patient sniffing the box not included. And let the record state that “It smells really good, Mom!”

It’s simply a deck of cards, friends. And yet…it’s so much more than a deck of cards.

ThinkFun WordARound with Lego Minifigures

Inquisitive Star Wars Lego Guys not included, either.

Two or more can play. To get started…shuffle the cards…

Twin B’s Mad Shufflin’ Skillz captured on camera

…and stack them, covering the card on top with your hand. On the word “Go,” reveal the card and focus on the letters in the outer black circle. Try to read the word that is spelled out within that circle. It’s trickier than it would seem.

A whole lotta thinkin’ goin’ on…

The Small One’s got it: “CONFUSE!” {See it?}

D’oh!

The Small One keeps the card and turns it face down. The color revealed on the back of that card is the color of the circle on which players are to focus on the next card. The game continues with players calling out words as they see them, keeping the cards, and flipping them over to reaveal new color cues.

We broke word-reading ties via Rock-Paper-Scissors.

That’s so funny I forgot to laugh, Mom.

We had a fantastic time playing WordAround. Twin B, The Small One and I all agreed that this could very well be our favorite ThinkFun game yet. Vocabulary building? Sequencing? Sight word growth? Laughs? Fierce competition? ~~High-speed car chases? Unrequited love?~~ WordARound‘s got it all. I even have a few tips on how to modify this game in order to bridge the gap between older and younger players. Inbox me, homies.

We also agreed that I could do with a new nail color. And that I needed to use oven mitts more often, thereby reducing the occurrence of random hand scarring.

But I digress.

So…would you like to win your very own WordARound?

I thought so.

Get clicking with the Rafflecopter gizmo below. You can enter multiple times daily for up to a week. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Comments (7)