Hey there, Facebooker! If you like it, then share it! It’s easy as shack bread with the little “Facebook” icon at the end of the post. Gracias!
Author’s Note: Today’s post has been supplied in large part by The Small One, who I picked up from school at noon on Wednesday with a low-grade fever. Inspired by Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop, I asked him to dictate an open letter to all women.
He refused.
I did, however, manage to elicit an open letter from him to me. In it, he waxes poetic about what I do well as his mother…along with a thing or two that he might change if he could.
Dear Mom,
I think that I should get more screen time. I only get an hour each day. Except for today. Because I’m sick and I deserve it.
I also want to talk about dinnertime. I’d like to have more of my favorite dinners. Like Ham & Shells. But you barely ever let us eat it because it’s not healthy. And even though you found out a way to make it healthier with milk instead of cream, you still don’t make it all that much, and that makes me kind of sad.
Pasta Shells with Peas and Ham via Food & Wine
There are some foods that I don’t want to have. Like the sausage soup thing. Actually, it’s not the soup I don’t like. It’s the sausage. Sausage belongs with pancakes, waffles, and other breakfast foods. But not in soup. That’s just odd.
Author’s Note: I approve whole-heartedly of this and all other Pinterest Foods about which I’ve written positive reviews.
And then there are the taquitos. They tasted like bread shacks. A bread shack is like a gingerbread house that’s gone rotten. Actually, any food that is way too crunchy can be a bread shack. Crunchy is usually good, like when it’s in apples and potato chips, but not in my main course. Way, way, WAY too crunchy. No more bread shack foods.
Baked Chicken Taquitos via Pinterest. A bread shack food. Who knew?
And then there’s most Pinterest Foods in general. What I don’t like about Pinterest Foods is that they’re usually completely bizarre and odd. They look nice, like in the pictures on your computer, but I feel different about Pinterest Foods when they’re lying there on my plate. Sometimes food can be as good as it looks, like nachos. But with most Pinterest Foods that is not true.
Sometimes I think about hiding your computer. This would be a good thing because then you wouldn’t get any more Pinterest Food ideas. But then that could also be a bad thing because you might miss your computer a lot and get really sad and then mad. Plus, how would my Cool Cat Press books for school get typed up? But it would be for a really good cause, so I think I might try hiding your computer anyway. You know, sometime when you’re not expecting it.
There’s one more thing: Punishments. When I get in trouble and you send me to my room, you press timer-eight-zero-zero-start on the microwave. That’s because I’m eight years old. I think it should be how old you are, minus two. I think that would be fine. Then The Twins would go to their rooms for nine minutes when they get in trouble, and I would go for six minutes. That is two more minutes that I would get to spend with my family that I love very much.
I do approve of some things, though. Like when I get sick at school. Like today. You wrap me up in the sickie blanket and gives me popsicles and juice in a sippy cup. I also like that you let me eat pretty much what I want except for dairy which can do harm to your stomach if it’s already upset. All of the extra T.V. and computer are very good, too. But I already told you that.
I just want to play Minecraft now, so I have to go.
Love,
The Small One
But Pinterest foods are GOOD!!!
I know, right? He now looks over my shoulder at the images on my computer screen and asks, “Ummm…are you going to do that to us?”
It amazes me the funny things kids come up with. Very nice!
He is truly one of a kind, Deana. The school nurse told me that while lying on her couch and waiting for me to pick him up, he regaled her with with a comparison and contrast of various vacation destinations including, but not limited to, Las Vegas, Mexico, And Arizona.
How cute! I really need to do this with my nine year old some time – I’m fairly certain her randomness would make it absolutely hilarious. I love looking at food on Pinterest, but seldom make them, LOL. I need to do that sometime . . .
Yes, Jennifer. “Randomness” is the key word here. ps – You MUST cook what you pin! No matter what my child says – Pinterest Foods rock!
I seriously LOL’d at his description of ‘shack bread’ – so, so funny! I think my oldest shares some of the same food preferences.
I have no clue that he had woven that word into his terminology, Kim, until it came out of his mouth yesterday. Priceless.
This was hilarious!!! I’m almost scared to ask my 10yo to write me a letter. (-_-)
Alisha – The fact that he dictated this straight to my face adds a certain element of annoying bravado, no?
I share the same sentiments as The Little One on Pinterest food! He is whip smart and witty….must be in the genes
Yes, Cath…my thoughts exactly. About the genes. Not Pinterest Foods.
This is funny…at least he likes things about you.
Love your positive outlook, Katie! Thanks for the affirmation.
It’s always good to be home with mom when sick. It’s about the comfort she provides, and it sounds like you do it just right!
Thanks, Carol. Evidently, I do ok in that department. It’s the whole Pinterest Food thing that could stand a bit of improvement, I guess.
You have one funny kid! I laughed out loud when I read that about the bread shacks!
Seriously, Stacey. That is what he said. I was all, “WTHeck?”
He is SO right about Pinterest food. I mean, sometimes its amazing, but it NEVER looks like the picture. Hahah. Love him. This makes me look forward to my little guy being 8.
Eight is great, Hillary. Eight is great.
I loved this letter what a great idea…………..the ham and shells sounds like something I would like too
It is really, really good, Jo-Anne…click the image for the recipe.
Ha, I have to agree with some of the Pinterest foods. I’ve tried a few and have been 50% successful. They look like they should taste good, but they don’t.
Others – yep they are good.
I also use the microwave timer for timeouts.
Another microwave time-outer! *virtual high five*
But I’m not subtracting two. That child? Needs all eight of his minutes.
Ahhhhhhh……does he know that somewhere out there his future wife is planning their Pinterest wedding??? My eight year old (when new foods are placed in front of him) chimes in with ” let me guess….Pinterest?”
And between you and me it has been a Pinterest food Weekend extravaganza over here. Check it.
Pinterest weddings. So jelly of all he brides-to-be that have Pinterest @ their fingertips. On my way to stalk your food boards now…
Very funny! I hope you are hiding your computer at night!
I clicked on one of the Pinterest links and saw grilled grapes. Ok, that’s kinda weird.
Between you and me, Marie? I now keep the MacBook under my pillow at night.
Ha! I love this..especially the logic of the punishment one…duh! Some Pinterest foods ARE a little bizarre, but I’m a picky eater
Hope he’s feeling better by now!
I know, right? Minus too, indeed.
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