Je suis revenue!
I have returned!
What a fabulous ten days it was, friends. I want to tell you about it.
How to do it within the confines of a single post?
That’s like asking The Small One to pick his top five Legos, and, forsaking all the rest, only play with those five for an afternoon.
But I’ll try. So please indulge me as I present you with a somewhat tongue-in-cheek list of:
Parisian Do’s and Don’ts
*****
Do consider renting an apartment.
If you plan to stay for more than a couple of days? It’s a very economical choice that beats the pantalons off of selling your firstborn off in order to pay for nightly hotel room fees. Throw in on-site laundry and cooking facilities? And you’ve got yourself one suite deal.
Through a little detective work, we learned that our apartment was owned by world-renowned wine expert Jeannie Lee. Tres chic, indeed.
*****
Ladies, don’t bring your high heels.
Or your bling. Or your revealing clothing. Or your loud voices. Or your push-up bras. To say that French women are understated is…well…an understatement. My group knew about this before our departure and did our darndest to blend in with les femmes locales.
Why, yes, we did walk around like this for ten days. Did I not mention that everyone in Paris does?
Our flat-heeled walking boots, stud earrings and black-on-black ensembles served us well, but our raucus laughter screamed America, time and time again. We might as well have been wearing star-spangled top hats singing Yankee Doodle. C’est la vie.
*****
Do prepare to be wowed by Exceptionally Obedient Parisian Dogs and Children.
No leashes, harnesses, muzzles or sedatives required. For the dogs or the children. If I have any more of either in the future? I’m totally shipping them off to Paris for boot camp.
*****
Do partake in delicacies like fois gras and pate’. But don’t snob off to the Nutella crepes and French fries.
This guy loved me and begged to have his picture taken.
For a city renowned for its fine dining, Paris is up to its proverbial eyeballs in Nutella. I’m not complaining…I personally love the stuff. But to my mind, it’s comical that I can purchase fois gras and Nutella crepes within a stones throw of one another. And the French fries? They’re fab. Despite the fact that French fries are not French, people consume them 24/7. They call them les pommes frites and eat them with everything from eggs in the morning to garden salads at dinnertime. Also? They prefer them with mayonnaise. Tres highbrow.
*****
Don’t be taken in by Parisian street scammers.
They abound in the city of lights, friends. If you don’t keep your eyes wide open and one hand on your billfold, you’ll be robbed blind before you can say Champs-Elysees. While on a walking tour, my friends and I asked our guide about the times that we felt that attempts had been made to swindle us:
Friend 1: ”I was stopped by this lady who was walking toward me. She knelt down and picked up a gold ring off of the sidewalk. What was that about?”
Tour Guide: ”Ahh…she was a gypsy. That is a scam. They tell you that you dropped the ring. When you say it is not yours, they insist that you keep it anyway. If you do, then they bother you for money as a show of your appreciation. Do not fall for it. Just keep walking.”
Friend 2: ”Okay…how about the all of the people hanging around the train station who want me to sign their petitions?”
Tour Guide: ”Another scam. You stop to sign, and while you’re concentrating on that, their friends swarm around you and pick your pockets. Never agree to sign anything. Ignore them as you would the ring gypsies.”
Me: *And what’s with that group on the bridge over the Seine holding signs saying, ‘Free Hugs’?”
Click image for source
Tour Guide: ”Those are the people who are offering the free hugs.”
Have you been to Paris, friends? What do’s and dont’s would you add?
OMG! I can’t wait to go! It sounds like I might be French. You can’t imagine how much I look like the Nutella crepe guy. Or maybe it’s just the “eff is for French guy” expression.
For the record, I heard about Nutella in French class in 1980. It was a common breakfast then. So, they’ve been addicted for much longer than America has.
Wow! So it’s, like, REAL AUTHENTIC French cuisine! I think I might love it even more now. If that’s even possible.
Did you take a free hug?
Jealous you went to Paris. JEALOUS.
(glad you had a good time, and I mean it!)
I accepted no French hugs from strangers. Only French kisses.
I kid. {ew}
Yea, did you take a free hug? Sounds like you had a great time! A place I will never see . . .
You just *did* see it, Betsy!
j’adore le post mon amie!
Merci beaucoup, ma cherie. xx
You’re 100 percent correct on all of these. I went to Paris the Spring before my Senior year in college and no one told us we needed to try and blend in. I think we were probably laughed at or despised the entire time we were there. From our loudness in the bars to the flip flops we wore everywhere …yeah, we weren’t making any friends. But the city was so beautiful and the gypsy’s probably loved the donation I gave without realizing who they were were. Germany was a little more welcoming of our awkwardness..lol.
One server in a cafe actually told us that our American servers are TOO friendly.
Too friendly? Sheesh.
Unless you’re in a Friday’s. Then I would have to agree. Those Friday folks are entirely too friendly.
You? Laugh loud? No way! Glad you had a fun trip.
Dad, I’m not even the loudest laugher in the group.
I read Bringing up Bebe and was blown away by how well French children behave. Methinks we “tres gauche Americains” are missing the boat here . . .
Glad it was awesome!
I know, right? They just take them everywhere, and the kids and pets just sort of learn to roll with the punches. Amazing.
A must do for next time…when you take me…three words…PARIS FLEA MARKETS! Oui. Oui. Oui! Love them!!! I dragged my beau to them many years ago after numerous nutella crepes and warm baguettes from sidewalk cafes. Love PARIS and love that you’re home. So excited to hear more about the trip.
Oui, oui, INDEED! Found a couple. Loved ‘em. Looking forward to comparing notes!
Welcome back!! I’m so very jealous of your getaway!!! That Nutella guy looks a little ticked off.
P.S. I eat my fries with ketchup AND mayo…how weird is that?
xo
Weird. And tres exotique. {Is that a French word? It is now}.
Great pictures and advice! I was able to go to Paris about 10 years ago. We were only there for about 3 1/2 days so a policy we followed was “don’t sleep!” We just walked the streets and took in as much as we could for the time we were there. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I’d love to go back and take my husband!
Whoa. No sleep? That’s a whole new level of tourist enthusiasm right there. Glad it was worth it!
What a fun trip! I totally would have taken a free hug from that Parisian cutie. And maybe a free butt grab.
Mmm hmmm…I didn’t show you what was on the back of that sign, did I?
[...] soon. (JoEll are you listening?!?) Photo credos for this gorgeous pic go to my gal Sue over at The Spin Cycle blog. If you click on the link, it will whisk you over to a very cute blog post she wrote about [...]