There comes a time during each and every summer where I reach a breaking point.
It is inevitable. I mean, I can only handle so much in one season.
No, I’m not talking about one too many trips to the pool
Or unfair carpool shifts
Or bickering
Or tattling
Or even the oppressive Chicagoland heat that has browned my lawn to a third-degree crisp.
No.
I’m talking about Played Out Summer Radio Anthems, my friends. It happens every single year. One song or another gets such an inordinate amount of airtime that it goes beyond general ear-worminess.
It incites an insuppressible rage within me.
In 1988 it was Richard Marx with Endless Summer Nights. *groan*
In 2010, Katy Perry did it with California Gurls. *primal scream*
And this summer?
It is not just one song.
Oh, no.
It is a plethora of them.
Normally, The Cherubs and I do not see eye-to-eye on the topic of music. But this summer’s airwave assault of Played Out Anthems has been so immense…so intense…that just the opening strains of one of these little ditties is enough to have us all at one anothers’ throats in matter of milliseconds.
Think I’m kidding?
We challenge you to listen to any one of these Top Ten Played-Out Summer Anthems of 2012 without clawing at your eyeballs or pulling your hair out at the roots.
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10. Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe.” From Twin B: “I get a headache trying to decide what’s spunkier, her song or her name.”
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8. Justin Bieber – “Boyfriend.” From Twin A: “Even *I* don’t want The Biebster to be my boyfriend. (Sheepishly) “Umm, anymore.”
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7. FUN, “We Are Young.” From Twin A: ”I used to want to set the world on fire…but FUN took all the fun out of it with that one song.”
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6. Nicki Minaj, “Starships.” From Twin B: “You know what this song reminds me of? Alvin & The Chipmunks…Only faster.”
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5. One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful.” From The Small One: “Hey, Mom! Where do all the guys with the worst hair go?” (pause) “In ONE DIRECTION! Haha! Get it?”
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1. The Oompa Loompas- “Somebody that I Used to Know.” – My children refuse to recognize Gotye as a band and give full credit for this xylophone-dominated song to Willy Wonka’s plucky band of minions.
Did we miss any, friends? What Played Out Summer Anthems of 2012 drive you to drink?
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Inspired by a prompt from Mama Kat’s Writers’ Workshop: ”List 10 things that make you angry.”